Someone asked me this past weekend what I did for a living and I was stumped. I hesitated for a second and then said, "I think I am retired." You see today was my last day at work, at my job. It was a part time job at that but I had been there seven years, creating the position of oncology nurse educator at weSPARK. I worked 15 years caring for cancer patients as an RN and with Micheal's death from brain cancer last June and all the deaths at work..well it was time to not be needed.
Marissa my 17 year old daughter leaves for college at the University of Colorado Boulder August 19. (Go Buffs) We could go deep into the empty nest stuff if indeed my nest was empty, but it is not. Nick, my oldest is living at home. But things are changing and way to fast for me and not at all as I planned. Back to the decision; the choice to leave now. I mean people asking me most of last year "why are you still working around cancer patients".
After losing Michael, my partner,my husband and suddenly becoming something I had not chosen; a widow, a single woman. I was not ready to give up my identity as a nurse. Something I loved, something I was good at and felt good doing. Now I am at least prepared to try, try and explore and discover who this new person is just as Marissa heads out to discover herself so too will I begin discover.
Maybe I made it out to sound a little too spiritual. The truth is I am going to get Marissa settled at school, travel and play golf and travel some more. The clinical term could be self care but I am learning about this widow thing day by day and ugly month by ugly month and yes I confess I am looking forward to not being needed so much.
Marissa my 17 year old daughter leaves for college at the University of Colorado Boulder August 19. (Go Buffs) We could go deep into the empty nest stuff if indeed my nest was empty, but it is not. Nick, my oldest is living at home. But things are changing and way to fast for me and not at all as I planned. Back to the decision; the choice to leave now. I mean people asking me most of last year "why are you still working around cancer patients".
After losing Michael, my partner,my husband and suddenly becoming something I had not chosen; a widow, a single woman. I was not ready to give up my identity as a nurse. Something I loved, something I was good at and felt good doing. Now I am at least prepared to try, try and explore and discover who this new person is just as Marissa heads out to discover herself so too will I begin discover.
Maybe I made it out to sound a little too spiritual. The truth is I am going to get Marissa settled at school, travel and play golf and travel some more. The clinical term could be self care but I am learning about this widow thing day by day and ugly month by ugly month and yes I confess I am looking forward to not being needed so much.
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